Thursday, 30 April 2009

Brief Story of Unhappiness and Despair

"A sudden flashback... Please, no...

The bell rang.
Friday's class was over. Another weekend was about to start.
I sighed. It didn't mean happiness to me. There was a reason why I hated weekends, and Fridays.
There they went, my classmates. I didn't hold anybody particular back; I preferred being alone and hated the masses of people in the locker room.
Five more minutes I sat, staring on my watch. Just like I usually used to do.

The moment I reached the locker room, I suddenly shivered.
Yes, I saw her. Nobody else.
It was too late to turn back, she had spotted me. And smiled at me.
The evil smile I knew so well all the past years.
It was completely paranoid.

Being the polite person I was, I didn't turn around and go. Or rather, it was something much bigger.
Slowly I approached the girl.
I walked past her, put my bag on the bench and unlocked my locker.
I was lost in thought. I didn't know what to do.
I felt like she was watching every tiny movement I did.
More shivers.
'Did you like that speech?', she asked me calmly. Her voice shattered through the invisible force wall which had seperated my thoughts from my rationality.
'Constantine's speech? It was... alright... I guess...', I slowly said, trying to keep calm. With the corners of my eyes I glanced at her.
I tied my shoelaces, while I heard her closing her locker.
There was some silence. Finally I closed my locker and got back to my bag.
She was still arranging some stuff in hers.
I hesitated.
'Hannah', I said. She looked at me, and I watched her eyes.
I had never done that often.
Her eyes were not beautiful; that would have been an insult to their real pulchritude.
There was something in the eyes, catching me.
What did her smile tell me? That little smile.
And I forced myself...
Slowly I went up to her. And I took her in my arms.
She replied the hug.
She replied the hug...
She replied it...
I could have cried. I could have died.
I didn't try to kiss her. It could have ruined our friendship. And my pride. And my life.
What did I live for, then?
30 seconds passed, and my heart exploded.
I let go. Unwillingly. But conscience took overhand. Just when my feelings had come to a weak point.
And I watched her gentle face, as its smile widened. Beyond imagination.
'You're so cute', she whispered.
I turned to get my bag.

She's distant to me now. Because she knows I love her.
With her help, I managed to see colours. Beautiful colors. Colours of life. They've never been here before.
I had been blind before. Truly blind.
How could I be that stupid?
Colours of happiness, colours of love, colours of life...
Why are they fading? Fading away? Fading to black?
What have I become? What have I become?
Those colours...!
I don't want to lose them... ... ..."