Lionel sighed at his incompetence. If his personality had been just a little more like Richard's, he'd probably have absolutely no doubt about doing what he had planned to do for such a long time already. But Richard - Richard, that dick! He could never have enough of girls, it seems. Just like drugs. Girls equal drugs.
Lionel's thoughts. He himself, a tall, 17 year old boy with an average appearance, didn't have faith. And all because of this one girl. Anybody who didn't know Lionel really well could not have guessed he was in love - and that not just slightly. That one girl - Sonja was her name - seemed perfectly flawless to him. Her face, her laugh, her eyes. And her hair, seemingly glowing in an orange-reddish color every time he moved his eyes towards her.
It wasn't like love at first sight, no - not at all, actually. She had been visiting Lionel's class for a good 6 years already, but earlier he had hardly noticed her. But things change. And so do times. Seems like her attraction built up on him over time.
It wouldn't have been a problem for Lionel. He started to get to know her better in the 8th grade. And it seemed she fancied him too. The only problem - and the biggest one of them - Richard. He came to their class in the beginning of the 9th grade and as already mentioned he was a womanizer. To make matters worse, he was also intelligent.
Lionel couldn't stand womanizers anyways, but when he overheard Richard flirting with Sonja, it drove him completely mad. And that was also the first time he noticed how much he actually cared for her.
Whatever gave him the feeling that Sonja liked Richard more than him and Richard fancied Sonja too, Lionel couldn't live with it. He had had many little fancies and crushes before, but really nothing interesting. This time he felt a clear difference. Maybe he experienced true love. Or maybe not. Usually 15 year old teens do get illusions about knowing about true love.
The more often Richard talked to Sonja, the less Lionel did. He kept feeling like a misfit whenever he was near her. It was at some point before winter break that he decided he had to tell her or he would die. But the next day it came completely different, as usual. Richard was flirting with Sonja when Lionel entered the class.
They were in the middle of Lionel's perspective. He didn't have the least time to hide them from his line of sight. And the picture of just that moment was burnt into Lionel's memory. How Sonja's laugh expanded while her shiny eyes surveyed Richard's face. How Richard was about to pet her face. Lionel could clearly feel an iron needle mercilessly stinging into his chest repeatedly and his heart started to beat way faster. Gravity seemed to pull him down more and more with every passing millisecond.
Lionel backed off and ran out of the building.
...what was happening to him? He couldn't understand... but couldn't stop running either. His feet and body seemed to take him somewhere by themselves.
Lionel didn't care. It all appeared meaningless to him. He wasn't very surprised when his legs came to a halt on a little bridge above a stream - the Stoober Bach... the water wasn't frozen, but it was cold enough to freeze a person to death...
